Today I observed a man who was out sledding with his young son. The boy appeared to be about six or seven years old.
The boy was talking excitedly and constantly about his experiences on the sled. He was telling his father every detail of his ride down the hill, watching other people sled and talking about them, making noises when it looked like people might crash or fall, and laughing loudly. The man, on the other hand was pretty quiet and stoic, but smiling and nodding at his excited son.
The little boy was trying different ways of riding the sled down the hill. Sometimes sitting, sometimes lying down, sometimes backwards, sometimes alone, and sometimes with his father. He would tell his father, each time, how he wanted to go down the hill, and then his father would help him onto the sled and help him start going down the hill. When the father didn't sled with his son, he would walk down the hill in order to help the boy drag the sled back up.
Even though the father wasn't doing a lot of talking, I thought their communication was great. The boy clearly felt appreciated and heard and free to talk. The father clearly listened to his son because he helped him sled in the different ways that he described. The father never told the son how to do things or how not to do them. He simply listened and supported his son in his ideas.
I thought a lot about the idea of stepping back and listening to children without looking for particular responses or coaching them into the responses we want them to have. This father stepped back, listened and supported, and therefore, his son felt happy and confident and willing to take risks and try new things. Also the fathers body language and facial expression showed that he was enjoying listening to what his son had to say.
Hi,
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing your great observation! I like how your example pointed out another aspect of effective communication with a young child (or anyone for that matter)-listening. Like you said, so many times we are looking for an answer or prompting a child in a certain direction but we can learn so much if we are willing and able to step back.
It sounds as though the father and son had a comfortable relationship and effective communication because the boy was willing to take risks, try new ideas, and share his excitement with his father who supported it all. A lot of times adults are quick to fill in the blanks for a child, speak for them, or correct what they say so this is a good reminder that so much can be gained from listening and letting the child take the lead!
Your blog has made me realize that we don't have to be doing all the talking to have good communication with children. Children are full of ideas and have so much to say as they learn and explore and I think it is great when we can step back and let them express themselves without asking them questions to learn more. When children feel supported like this little boy did they are more comfortable in talking and expressing themselves. This was a great blog!
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