I make a conscious effort to communicate with all people equally, staying true to myself while respecting each persons individuality. However, I must admit that I feel most comfortable with people whose culture I share. In those cases, I feel more natural and it feels less necessary to make an effort to empathize and understand the others point of view. So, while I try to communicate in the same way regardless OTC the culture of another, I am sure that my degree of comfort or of effort is apparent.
I think that showing empathy is one very important way to communicate with others. It is necessary to attempt to look at the subject from then others point of view and to understand why they have that point of view. The way to do this is to ask questions, be open minded and accept the fact that there are many valid viewpoints. It is also important to avoid jumping to conclusions. Many times we think we understand another's motivations without getting the facts. The third strategy is to also be honest about our own motivations. It is very difficult to understand another without first understanding ourselves.
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Weeds
I chose to watch the show "Weeds." I had never seen the show before, but had heard from multiple people that it was good. Watching without sound gave me a pretty good impression of the characters and their relationships, but I was not able to fully grasp the plot.
When watching without sound, I first noticed the way the characters were dressed. The show started in what was obviously a school for young children with crayon drawings on the walls. Two women who were dressed in expensive looking provocative clothing were presenting to a group of similarly dressed women. The audience was obviously showing favoritism to one of the presenters over the other. They were then obviously talking about one of the women because they were huddled together and glancing in her direction. I thought they were talking way a disapproving way about her purse - maybe saying it was cheap. The exchange between the main character and these women seemed strained.
Then the scene changed and the main character, who was a white woman, was in a kitchen where a group of African American people of different genders and ages were filling baggies with marijuana. She seemed comfortable with these people even though they were not well dressed, and she was. She was again talking about the purse, and I thought that she was telling these people that the women at the meeting had talked badly of the purse. I thought at this point that maybe she was a poor teacher and that she lived with these people, but needed to appear professional in order to fit in at her school.
Then, however, she was in an expensive home where two boys were watching television and a Hispanic lady was cooking dinner. She was standing in the kitchen asking the boys some questions, and they were looking at each other in an accusatory fashion and talking. I assumed they were in some kind of trouble and were telling on each other. The woman appeared upset, and the older woman, who I assumed was her mother, simply crossed herself - praying for these people.
Seeing the show again with the sound turned on made me see that I was right about this woman's feelings towards the other characters, but wrong about the situations. In the beginning she and another parent were presenting about whether or not sugary drinks should be sold rom school vending machines. All of the women sided with the other lady because she clearly held more power. The women were talking about her purse, but they were wondering how she had afforded it because her husband had died.
In the next scene, the woman was buying drugs from the people who were sorting them, and there was a kind of comfortable bickering going on. She was shooing them the purse and saying it was a fake designer purse but that it was undetectable. They were pointing out the flaws.
The third scene was in the woman's home. The two boys were her children who had broken a window, but they were actually trying not to say what had happened rather than telling on each other. The older woman was her housekeeper. There was quite a bit of tension in the house because her husband had recently died while jogging with her son.
I think that I would have made more correct assumptions if I had watched a familiar show with a familiar plot and characters, but without knowing anything about the show, I was making assumptions based on physical appearance and body language alone. It is interesting that situations can be so easily misconstrued when dialogue is absent.
When watching without sound, I first noticed the way the characters were dressed. The show started in what was obviously a school for young children with crayon drawings on the walls. Two women who were dressed in expensive looking provocative clothing were presenting to a group of similarly dressed women. The audience was obviously showing favoritism to one of the presenters over the other. They were then obviously talking about one of the women because they were huddled together and glancing in her direction. I thought they were talking way a disapproving way about her purse - maybe saying it was cheap. The exchange between the main character and these women seemed strained.
Then the scene changed and the main character, who was a white woman, was in a kitchen where a group of African American people of different genders and ages were filling baggies with marijuana. She seemed comfortable with these people even though they were not well dressed, and she was. She was again talking about the purse, and I thought that she was telling these people that the women at the meeting had talked badly of the purse. I thought at this point that maybe she was a poor teacher and that she lived with these people, but needed to appear professional in order to fit in at her school.
Then, however, she was in an expensive home where two boys were watching television and a Hispanic lady was cooking dinner. She was standing in the kitchen asking the boys some questions, and they were looking at each other in an accusatory fashion and talking. I assumed they were in some kind of trouble and were telling on each other. The woman appeared upset, and the older woman, who I assumed was her mother, simply crossed herself - praying for these people.
Seeing the show again with the sound turned on made me see that I was right about this woman's feelings towards the other characters, but wrong about the situations. In the beginning she and another parent were presenting about whether or not sugary drinks should be sold rom school vending machines. All of the women sided with the other lady because she clearly held more power. The women were talking about her purse, but they were wondering how she had afforded it because her husband had died.
In the next scene, the woman was buying drugs from the people who were sorting them, and there was a kind of comfortable bickering going on. She was shooing them the purse and saying it was a fake designer purse but that it was undetectable. They were pointing out the flaws.
The third scene was in the woman's home. The two boys were her children who had broken a window, but they were actually trying not to say what had happened rather than telling on each other. The older woman was her housekeeper. There was quite a bit of tension in the house because her husband had recently died while jogging with her son.
I think that I would have made more correct assumptions if I had watched a familiar show with a familiar plot and characters, but without knowing anything about the show, I was making assumptions based on physical appearance and body language alone. It is interesting that situations can be so easily misconstrued when dialogue is absent.
Saturday, September 10, 2011
Great Communicators
The best communicator I know is my co-teacher, Rosemary. The first reason for this is that she is very comfortable with herself, with her beliefs, with her outlook on life, with her ethics, her priorities and her values. Juxtaposed to this comfort with herself, she believes that all people should be afforded such comfort and should be respected for who they are.
For the above reasons, Rosemary is not only willing to listen to the point of view of others, but is truly nterested in what they have to say. Part of her comfort with herself allows her to listen openly to what others have to say without pretense and to use communication to learn as much as she can about others without passing judgment.
This gift of natural ability to communicate freely and effectively is a truly wonderful thing. I do believe that all people should strive to first know who they are and feel comfort and pride in themselves, and then come to a place where they can accept others without judgment or an attempt to change another. Tolerance is the key to communication.
For the above reasons, Rosemary is not only willing to listen to the point of view of others, but is truly nterested in what they have to say. Part of her comfort with herself allows her to listen openly to what others have to say without pretense and to use communication to learn as much as she can about others without passing judgment.
This gift of natural ability to communicate freely and effectively is a truly wonderful thing. I do believe that all people should strive to first know who they are and feel comfort and pride in themselves, and then come to a place where they can accept others without judgment or an attempt to change another. Tolerance is the key to communication.
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