When Groups Adjourn

I think that most groups, whether they work out well or not, are somewhat difficult to leave. However, it is harder to leave long term groups and groups that have been successful in doing what they set out to do. In these groups, it is more likely that relationships have been established, and these relationships may have to end when the group work ends. There is then a sense of loss of people and of loss of an important factor in ones life.

Being in a group becomes something we become accustomed to in life, and leaving a group leaves a void - even if the group consists of people one has never met in person. It will be difficult to leave the masters group. Even though I have never met the people in the group, I have developed an affinity for several of them.

I think that the best way to end a group is to have a culminating event. The group can celebrate their successes and their friendships and have a proper goodbye. I think this especially important in classrooms coming to an end.

Conflict Resolution

A conflict often comes up at my job because I work for a state funded program called Illinois Action for Children while the school also has a federally funded program called Early Reading First.  The conflicts arise because each of these grants is based on a different philosophy of education.  Preschool for All follows The creative Curriculum and The Project Approach which promotes teaching skills through allowing children to follow their own interests and through research projects.  Early Reading First, on the other hand, is a very scripted, curriculum led program that focuses directly on literacy skills.  For instance, I might have children writing lists of ingredients they need for a recipt they want to make whild Early Reading First has them naming the first sound in a prescribed list of words.

These differences, in general, are manageable, but there are times when the two programs butt heads.  One of these times was when the Early Reading First coach was using flashcards with the children.  This is not allowed in Preschool for All.  We had discussed this, but she felt strongly that the flashcards were essential.  Well, the conflict escalated when my Project Manager came in to see her doing flashcards with the children and held me responsible for allowing this in a Preschool for All classroom.

The most recent conflict is regarding choice time in the classroom.  during this time, according to Preschool for All, all of the areas of the classroom are open and the children choose where they would like to work.  The Early Reading First coach wants particular popular areas to be closed during this time because she is having a difficult time coaxing particular children away from these areas so that she can work with them.  She also wants particular children to be required to work with her rather than go to the areas of their choice.  This, again, goes against the mandates of The Preschool for All grant as well as going against my personal philosophy of education.  I have suggested that she go to the areas where the children choose to be and work with them there, but she insists that she needs a table at which to work.  Often, when these conflicts occur, she simply claims that her grant trums my grant because her funding is Federal and mine is State.  I have found it very difficult to compromise in these situations.

Compromise, however is what is needed.  I have learned this week that sometimes all people really want is to be heard.  A good approach might be to simply hear out her feelings and needs without arguing, and then stating my needs and wants without invoking the grants or their mandates.  Another thing to keep in mind is that we should be looking for a solution that allows us both to win.  We should be looking for a way to merge the two approaches rather than viewing them as completely different. 

Communication Styles

Interestingly, my husband and mother, who rated me on the communication scales gave me what I would consider to be more positive ratings than I gave to myself. I did find the scales somewhat difficult to answer completely honestly because I communicate differently with different people in different situations. For instance, I communicate much more professionally and in a more businesslike manner with people at my job than I do with friends and family outside of the workplace.

Regarding The Communication Anxiety Inventory, I rated myself a 35 which is mild, meaning that I " feel a bit uneasy in some communication situations and somewhat more confident in other contexts. Communication does not seem to be something that you worry about a great deal." My family members rated me as Low, meaning that i "feel comfortable communicating in most situations and feel confident in anticipating such encounters." what this tells me is that even though I sometimes feel uncomfortable, it must not be obvious to others.

In the area of Listening Styles, my results put me in Group 1 meaning that i am people oriented, and that I am "empathetic and concerned with the emotions of others. This listening style helps you to build relationships, but it can interfere with proper judgment because you tend to be very trusting of others.". My family put me in Group 2, which is action oriented, meaning I "might be described as "business like" and I prefer clear, to-the-point communication that outlines a plan of action. My efficiency is respected but may intimidate more sensitive listeners." while I care about the feelings of others, I do feel more comfortable in Group 2. I do prefer to get to the point of a conversation without allowing emotional reactions to blur the true issue.

As far as the Verbal aggressiveness scale, I gave myself a score of 58, which is moderate. This means that I "maintain a good balance between respect and consideration for others viewpoints, and the ability to argue fairly by attacking the facts of a position rather than the person holding that position.". My family saw me as low, meaning that I am "respectful of the viewpoints of others, and attempt to change their minds with gentle, inoffensive suggestions that do not attack their self concept.". My family members, apparently, see me as kinder than I see myself.

Communication

I make a conscious effort to communicate with all people equally, staying true to myself while respecting each persons individuality. However, I must admit that I feel most comfortable with people whose culture I share. In those cases, I feel more natural and it feels less necessary to make an effort to empathize and understand the others point of view. So, while I try to communicate in the same way regardless OTC the culture of another, I am sure that my degree of comfort or of effort is apparent.

I think that showing empathy is one very important way to communicate with others. It is necessary to attempt to look at the subject from then others point of view and to understand why they have that point of view. The way to do this is to ask questions, be open minded and accept the fact that there are many valid viewpoints. It is also important to avoid jumping to conclusions. Many times we think we understand another's motivations without getting the facts. The third strategy is to also be honest about our own motivations. It is very difficult to understand another without first understanding ourselves.

Weeds

I chose to watch the show "Weeds." I had never seen the show before, but had heard from multiple people that it was good. Watching without sound gave me a pretty good impression of the characters and their relationships, but I was not able to fully grasp the plot.

When watching without sound, I first noticed the way the characters were dressed. The show started in what was obviously a school for young children with crayon drawings on the walls. Two women who were dressed in expensive looking provocative clothing were presenting to a group of similarly dressed women. The audience was obviously showing favoritism to one of the presenters over the other. They were then obviously talking about one of the women because they were huddled together and glancing in her direction. I thought they were talking way a disapproving way about her purse - maybe saying it was cheap. The exchange between the main character and these women seemed strained.

Then the scene changed and the main character, who was a white woman, was in a kitchen where a group of African American people of different genders and ages were filling baggies with marijuana. She seemed comfortable with these people even though they were not well dressed, and she was. She was again talking about the purse, and I thought that she was telling these people that the women at the meeting had talked badly of the purse. I thought at this point that maybe she was a poor teacher and that she lived with these people, but needed to appear professional in order to fit in at her school.

Then, however, she was in an expensive home where two boys were watching television and a Hispanic lady was cooking dinner. She was standing in the kitchen asking the boys some questions, and they were looking at each other in an accusatory fashion and talking. I assumed they were in some kind of trouble and were telling on each other. The woman appeared upset, and the older woman, who I assumed was her mother, simply crossed herself - praying for these people.

Seeing the show again with the sound turned on made me see that I was right about this woman's feelings towards the other characters, but wrong about the situations. In the beginning she and another parent were presenting about whether or not sugary drinks should be sold rom school vending machines. All of the women sided with the other lady because she clearly held more power. The women were talking about her purse, but they were wondering how she had afforded it because her husband had died.

In the next scene, the woman was buying drugs from the people who were sorting them, and there was a kind of comfortable bickering going on. She was shooing them the purse and saying it was a fake designer purse but that it was undetectable. They were pointing out the flaws.

The third scene was in the woman's home. The two boys were her children who had broken a window, but they were actually trying not to say what had happened rather than telling on each other. The older woman was her housekeeper. There was quite a bit of tension in the house because her husband had recently died while jogging with her son.


I think that I would have made more correct assumptions if I had watched a familiar show with a familiar plot and characters, but without knowing anything about the show, I was making assumptions based on physical appearance and body language alone. It is interesting that situations can be so easily misconstrued when dialogue is absent.

Great Communicators

The best communicator I know is my co-teacher, Rosemary. The first reason for this is that she is very comfortable with herself, with her beliefs, with her outlook on life, with her ethics, her priorities and her values. Juxtaposed to this comfort with herself, she believes that all people should be afforded such comfort and should be respected for who they are.

For the above reasons, Rosemary is not only willing to listen to the point of view of others, but is truly nterested in what they have to say. Part of her comfort with herself allows her to listen openly to what others have to say without pretense and to use communication to learn as much as she can about others without passing judgment.

This gift of natural ability to communicate freely and effectively is a truly wonderful thing. I do believe that all people should strive to first know who they are and feel comfort and pride in themselves, and then come to a place where they can accept others without judgment or an attempt to change another. Tolerance is the key to communication.

What I Learned

One hope that you have when you think about working with children and families who come from diverse backgrounds

I would like to create a learning community where all children and families both appreciate and respect each others differences, and see that diversity brings richness into their lives. I would like a true collaboration based on providing the best possible experiences for the young children who come together in my classroom. I would like for families to understand how important these children are to each other, and I would like the families to then form a community amongst themselves. I wish that school and family were not two separate aspects of children's lives, but a harmonious partnership that extends outside of the classroom.

One goal you would like to set for the early childhood field related to issues of diversity, equity, and social justice

To me, the biggest injustice to be found in early childhood education, as well as all education, is that different children receive different qualities of education and are prepared for different stations in life based on socioeconomic class rather than on their innate abilities, interests and talents. It is deplorable that some of the brightest, most precocious children filled with incredible potential are not given opportunities to grow and to really contribute to society - while others are given multitudes of opportunities regardless of abilities. The goal that I would set would be to provide equal educational opportunities to all children because they are human beings and to base the philosophy behind this system of equality on the belief that all human beings are full of potential regardless of race, ethnicity or class.

A brief note of thanks to your colleagues

I have enjoyed working with all of you this summer on the complex study of diversity and anti-bias. I am ready to approach the new school year with a new outlook on relationships with children, families and staff. Thank you for all of your support on this journey.