I thought a lot about times when I have told children not to mention other's disabilities or skin color or gender identity, and I couldn't think of any. I think I am pretty good about explaining things to children and being open with them about why people are different in these ways.
One thing, however, that I have hushed children about is commenting on people's weight. I struggle with weight issues, myself, and possibly this is part of the reason I react as I do about children calling people fat. I have told children that it is unfriendly and hurtful to talk about others weight - even if they are simply making an observation and not being judgmental (which is often the case).
When I think about it, though, telling children not to mention weight and telling them that making the observation that someone is fat really teaches them that there is something wrong with overweight people. It teaches them that weight is something shameful. It perpetuates the idea that only thin people are beautiful.
Perhaps discussions of weight should be the same as discussions of skin color or disability. Children just need to be told that all people look different, and that it is all equally beautiful.
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