This is slightly embarrassing because it will illustrate just how spoiled I am. Anyway, my husband is a huge source of support in every way. I leave a list of chores for him every morning, and he does those chores every day. I leave him shopping lists, errands like picking up library books or going to the bank, house work like laundry, dishwashing, making dinner or making beds, or, basically, anything else that needs to get done. He does these things happily and never complains. Having these things done for me makes my life so much simpler and so much more pleasant. If I had all of those responsibilities in addition to working full time and going to school, I would have very little time or patience for enjoying my family and relaxing myself. The embarrassing part is that I sometimes forget to appreciate all of the things my husband does for me, and I tell him that he should be doing more. He gives this support so selflessly and without fanfare that I don’t always look clearly at the huge contribution he makes to the harmony of our home and family life.
Life without this support would be difficult and stressful – but still possible after some restructuring. Recently my husband travelled to his childhood home in Europe for ten days, and I realized how much of an impact all of the simple things he does has on my life and comfort level. Even buying popcorn at the movies (usually I sit in the theater with the kids while he goes to the snack bar) was suddenly stressful. Having to wait in line with young boys, order, and then navigate our way into the theater was practically overwhelming. So, the thought of having to do all of the things that I generally pass on to someone else, and then adding a specific challenge, such as a physical disability like limits my mobility, such as paralysis, sounds impossible. I wouldn’t then be able to get around by myself, go to the store myself, care for my children myself, and definitely not buy the popcorn at the theater. I take the help I get now for granted, when I think of people who need help with even the simplest of tasks, I am very humbled.
All people need support from others. All people need help at times. The level of support needed is individual and may change over time. I think it is important to allow every child or person to be as independent as they are able to be but also to support them as much as is needed as well. An example is a second language learner. When they first come into the classroom they will need a huge amount of patience, understanding and assistance. Over time they will learn the classroom routine as well as how to communicate – and the amount of accommodation needed will lessen dramatically.
If you think about the word support – it is a structure that holds up or provides a foundation. If the base is strong, everything else will be stable.
